Being yourself:  You think it's going to be easy.  You think, me?  I'm honest, open...I can represent and be just who I am whenever I want.  Wrong.  It's not as easy as it sounds or as easy as maybe it even should be.  But what good are "shoulds"?  The only difference you're going to make in this life is through change.  Trying to figure out "if's and should's" is about as fruitful as worrying or eating pizza all day sitting on the couch wishing you weren't fat.  I've had a very busy day as you can tell and am feeling particularly good about myself at the moment.  Fantastic you should drop in to hear me rant.

When do I get to be myself?  At what point do I feel like whatever I do I own?  Anything that is me is okay.  When do I feel this way?  I suppose after the anxiety and depression subsides.  After I work my ass off, and then there is no guarantee.  All you can do is trust yourself and say fuck it.  Why not?  Why am I so fucking worried all the time?  Is there nothing that I can do to free my mind?  How about freedom of speech?  It's saved me so many times before.  Why isn't it my first choice now?  Am I really that afraid of a family member reading what I say and disapproving?  For fuck's sake.  You're almost 30 years old.  Be happy that you're still breathing and maybe just maybe that horrible headache you've been avoiding seeing a doctor about will go away on its on.  Worth a try.  Maybe.